


better off as lovers

by stylinshaw



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Insecurity, M/M, Mentions of alcohol, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-21
Updated: 2015-06-21
Packaged: 2018-04-05 12:29:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4179927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stylinshaw/pseuds/stylinshaw
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I always want you,” Dan says softly. “I’m just not good enough for you.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	better off as lovers

**Author's Note:**

> oh man i really hate this fic but i enjoyed writing it so here you go please tell me if it's decent (this is also not as angsty as the summary makes it look its like 1k words thats it lmao)
> 
> to all the lovely people that commented on my last fic, a sequel should be up soon!! thank you!! <3
> 
> this fic was heavily inspired by bang the doldrums by fall out boy. title credit goes to it as well!
> 
> d&p aren't mine >:|
> 
> hope you enjoy!

_Best friends_  
_Ex-friends till the end_  
_Better off as lovers_  
_And not the other way around_

_\- Bang the Doldrums, Fall Out Boy_

* * *

 

 

Dan’s not in bed when Phil wakes up. Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he assumes that the younger man must’ve gone to make breakfast or brush his teeth.

He smiles inwardly. He’d liked Dan for a long time- and they’d finally stopped tiptoeing around each other the previous night, tumbling into bed, a tangle of limbs and bedsheets.

It- it had been good. Phil rolls out of bed, stumbling slightly as he drapes the duvet neatly over his bed. He walks into the lounge, expecting to see Dan- except, he isn’t there.

“Dan?” Phil calls, just for good measure, but there’s no response. A bright yellow note is stuck to the wall outside Phil’s bedroom door when he turns back around, Dan’s handwriting neat and bold.

_Gone out for a bit. I’m sorry._

Phil’s heart drops- this isn’t the ideal response to get after sleeping with someone you’re in love with. He pulls the note off the door slowly, walking back into his room.

It still smells of last night. It still smells of _Dan._

Feeling exhausted despite just having woken up, Phil sits down on his bed. He folds the note in his hands carefully, before flicking it into the bin.

There isn’t much he can do now. He lies down, turning to shove his face into the pillow. He closes his eyes.

If a few tears leak out, no one has to know.

*

When Dan comes back, Phil doesn’t say anything. It’s awkward for a few days. Until it isn’t.

Neither of them mention it. It still lingers in the back of Phil’s mind.

*

“Remind me why we don’t go out more often,” Dan says happily, taking a long sip of his drink. They’re at a club of some sort, flashing lights and pounding music surrounding them. “This is fucking awesome.”

“You’re just too lazy to ever leave the house,” Phil replies, sipping his own drink. “Look, Dan. This is what you could have if you weren’t so lazy.”

Dan merely smiles in response, that infuriatingly _attractive_ half-smirk he does. “One more, please,” he signals to the bartender.

“You sure you should be drinking this much?” Phil asks cautiously. He himself isn’t quite drunk- he’s just pleasantly buzzed. Dan, on the other hand, has had more drinks than Phil can count- and he isn’t stopping.

“One more, Philip,” Dan says languidly, and _God_ if it isn’t beautiful the way Dan looks in the bright lights, fringe sticking to his forehead. Phil absentmindedly licks his lips.

Dan’s eyes follow.

“Fuck,” he mutters. “Let’s go.”

“What?” Phil asks, but Dan’s grabbing his arm, leading him outside- and suddenly Phil’s being slammed against a wall.

“You’re so _beautiful,_ Christ,” Dan groans, in a surprisingly honest tone. Phil barely has time to comment before they’re kissing, and well. Phil loses himself in Dan’s touch- it’s hard not to.

“Wait, Dan,” he says, the moment they break apart for air. “You don’t want to do this.”

“Of course I fucking want to do this,” Dan replies, reaching for Phil’s hair. “Why would you think I don’t?”

“Because you’re drunk,” Phil states. “You might want it now, but you won’t tomorrow.”

Dan tugs at Phil’s hair gently. It takes an incredible amount of self-control for Phil not to just _give in_ right then and there.

“I always want you,” Dan says softly. “I’m just not good enough for you.”

Phil recoils with mild shock as Dan steps back. “Let’s go home,” he says.

Phil doesn’t talk about it- not in the cab, not when they stumble back into their flat. They separate, and go into their respective rooms.

Phil lies awake in the dark for a long time.

*

There’s another note on Phil’s door when he wakes up, this time neon pink. Dan’s writing is sloppy and hurried, ink smudged, words crossed out, as if he’s put a lot of thought into the few words lining the paper.

_Gone to Tesco’s. Wasn’t as drunk as you think._

Swiftly, Phil darts to his phone.

 **You are good enough, Dan.** He types uncertainly. He hesitates, before pressing send.

The reply comes back quickly, _too quickly._

 **You deserve more than the world.** The words are startlingly sincere, not Dan’s usual cryptic way of wording things at all.

**I don’t want the world. I want you.**

There’s no reply to that. Phil shuts his phone down, and heads to the bathroom. He spends a good twenty minutes or so in the shower, and when he gets out, he hears sounds in the living room.

He gets dressed quickly, and walks out. “Dan?” he calls out.

Dan’s sitting on the couch, dressed in sweats and a soft t-shirt. Phil has never seen anything more gorgeous in his life.

“Dan,” Phil says, sitting down next to him. “Listen to me. Please.”

“Wasn’t saying anything,” Dan says morosely.

“I want you,” Phil says, injecting as much truth as he can into his voice. “I _love_ you, Dan. I don’t care if you think I should have someone else because I want only _you_.”

Dan is silent for a moment.

“You- you’re the best thing to happen to me. Ever,” Dan says. “And I don’t want to fuck that up, you know? Everything’s moving so fast it might- it might slip away.”

“You won’t,” Phil says reassuringly. “Believe me, Bear. I’m willing to take this chance.”

“You really love me,” Dan says, and Phil hates the fact that he sounds a little surprised.

“I really do,” Phil repeats. He takes Dan’s hands in his own gently. “We’re better together, can’t you see that?”

“I guess we are,” Dan answers. “I love you too.”

Phil beams, and tackles Dan in a hug. They don’t sleep together that day- they spend the whole day wrapped up in Phil’s bed, watching reruns of _Friends._ Nothing changes between them- there’s just more kissing and cuddling involved.

And the next day, when Phil wakes up, there’s a note stuck to his forehead. His heart sinks for a moment, until he reads it.

_Be my boyfriend?_

Phil jumps out of bed and finds Dan making a bowl of cereal.

“Yeah,” he says.

Dan smiles.

**Author's Note:**

> comments/kudos are LOVE!! thank you for reading :)


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